About Us

Earthquake Assurance is a startup. We are emergency management experts, bicycle manufacturers, and soil specialists. Our goal is to hire out-of-work Occupy Wall Street protesters as a standby team ready to help society in a time of need. Upon a major earthquake that disrupts toilet systems, teams will report to our worm farm stations to deliver needed sanitary kits to our customer base. The money from setup fees and subscriptions goes to cover supplies and worm farm operations, keeping a majority of the funds in a bank to pay workers upon deployment.

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